2015: A Year in Review

January was a month of relief. The beginning of the year was my fresh start. All of my health issues had been (seemingly) cured by the end of December, so January would be medication free. My pain had disappeared. On another note, all of my college applications had been submitted and the only thing left to do was wait. The more difficult half of senior year was over and I was relieved. March was a month of Me. The month started off with my eighteenth birthday surrounded by my family and friends. Eighteen sounded amazing to me; like nothing was impossible. I took that feeling and used it everyday. While the days of March breezed by I found myself becoming more confident. I opened up to people and because of it I regained a great friend that means so much to me. May was a month of dreams. To start off, this was the last month of high school so that in itself was a dream come true. Also, I finally committed to my dream university. Since freshman year I’ve been yearning for a spot in University of Delaware’s class of 2019 so when I not only was accepted to be a part, but was able to actually commit, I was unbelievably thrilled. In addition, I got to wear the prom dress of my dreams (which I would wear everyday of my life if I could). Although May began with a shaky start when my dad had a heart attack, my family got through it and ended up using the blip on our radar as a blessing. June was my month of fun. Remember that confidence thing back in March? Still got it – and in June more than ever. One more time at Kottmeyer Stadium as a high school and I was worried the whole time I would fall while walking to get my diploma. To be fair that was almost every other girl’s fear that day. After graduation nothing sounded better than a week at the beach with friends. 5908 was everything and more that my friends and I wanted out of Senior Week. I made sure that I would have fun these seven days and boy did I. I ended up getting closer to people I had barely talked to in school and continued to get closer to them, even now at the end of the year. After a crazy week in Ocean City I was determined to continue to keep the fun going. I ended up at a grad party talking to someone I had been going to school with for seven years but never really known. About a week later my confidence and fun levels met up and I asked that someone on a date. July was a month of lust. The boy I asked on the date ended up becoming my boyfriend. We both liked each other so much and it made everyday exciting. He was good to me and loved spending time together. Each day with him was so full of lust and I didn’t want summer to end. September was a month of loss. By the time the first feelings of fall had come I had lost all of my friends to their colleges and I had lost my boyfriend to his new life. Despite feeling so alone I pushed through the losses because I still had my friends, they just weren’t around. And I still had my family, and my faith, and my life. October was my month of taking control. I decided I didn’t want to be sad anymore. I got my old job back and even managed to get another one in addition. I planned to get my life back on track and to be positive and happy. Like great author Hunter S. Thompson said, “Life has become immeasurably better since I’ve been forced to stop taking it seriously.” I told myself I wanted to have fun. I took control of my life and became way more responsible than I ever was. I was determined to make my semester off and the rest of 2015 (and my life) awesome. November was a month of love. Self-love, that is. I realized that I had been so hard on myself the past few years and I deserved more than that. I apologized to myself and started a new path of loving myself more than ever. I am blessed to have a great family, and a nice and healthy body, and many other things. It was time that I started treating myself like it. December was a month of happiness. Pure happiness. I let bad things that happen to me take first place for way too long and I was tired of it. Along with starting to love myself, I was going to be happy. Something that I’ve wanted for a long time and what so many other people in the world dream of, and I achieved it. I fought to become this new and incredible person and I am beyond proud of myself.

All in all 2015 was a pretty great year if I do say so myself. Sure it had its ups and downs but what’s life without a few mistakes? I certainly had moments this year that weren’t the most fun but I think I had more that were amazing and inspiring to balance the year out. 2015 is a year that I will never forget and I cannot wait to see what 2016 holds for me!

The Year in Music

January: New Perspective … Panic! at the Disco

February: Change … Taylor Swift

March: My World … Avril Lavigne

April: Don’t Forget Where You Belong … One Direction

May: Long Live … Taylor Swift

June: Live While We’re Young … One Direction

July: Want to Want Me … Jason Derulo

August: Summer Love … One Direction

September: Walking in the Wind … One Direction

October: Drag Me Down … One Direction

November: Clean … Taylor Swift

December: Girl Almighty … One Direction

 

 

“WHAT LIES BEHIND YOU AND WHAT LIES IN FRONT OF YOU PALES IN COMPARISON TO WHAT LIES INSIDE OF YOU.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882

I have a book entitled Positive Thinking Every Day that sits next to my bed. While I wrote this speech back in April, I skipped forward in the book a bit to today’s date. I was slightly weirded out by how fitting the thought was for today. The positive thought of June 4th read, “The world in which you live is not primarily determined by outward conditions and circumstances, but by thoughts that habitually occupy your mind.” The way we carry ourselves and live our lives shows more about us than the things we’ve done. Things that happened during our time here at West do not necessarily define us. There is so much more to life than going to parties every weekend or being the most popular person in school. It may seem important at the moment but as the great author C.S. Lewis once said, “There are far greater things ahead than any we leave behind.” What makes our future so great is that it’s up to us. We determine our outcome by being the best version of ourselves we can be. It’s what is inside of us that counts. Not the things we’ve done, but rather how we accomplished those things. Inside every person here is something great.

While everyone has had ups and downs in their life, the way we handle the situations that go on in our lives determine the type of person we become. I once heard a quote talking about the way people treat their problems. It said something along the lines of, “If you spend all your time blaming the world, the world wins.” We only have ourselves to blame for the outcome of our lives. Blaming the world isn’t going to solve anything, it’s just going to make things seem worse. We become what we think. Positivity is key to a bright and successful future. A friend of mine, someone that I admire and look up to (both figuratively and literally) said to me once that we are only given one opportunity to live. He explained that “it could end in 60 years, it could end tomorrow. Always seize every day and always look at the positive side of things. Try to make the most of your days, every day.” He’s right about our chances. We can’t live everyday worrying about little things, we have to take control of what is inside of us. Our actions are not what we become. Our thoughts and ideas are. We are the ones that hold the key to unlocking a new life. A quote from Stephen Chbosky reads, “So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things.” (Perks of Being a Wallflower, 1999). We all have a power within us to change and make the person we are on the inside match the person we are on the outside. We choose the way our cards are dealt through positivity.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, an extremely successful and well known poet and lecturer, did not stand out in his class. In fact, his rank was in the middle of his other 59 classmates come graduation. Emerson strongly believed in individualism – an idea that supports the strong worth of an individual person. He knew that he could achieve everything he dreamed for if he just believed in himself and his own personal value. His famous quote, “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you” is proof that Emerson himself believes in each living individual’s potential to overcome past and future experiences with what lies within the soul. We all feel at times that we may not be worth much but we can’t let these false thoughts overpower us. Who we are inside is what matters most. My friend asked me one day, “Does it matter what other people think of you? Or is it more important what you think of yourself?” The answer is always what you think of yourself. Each and every person has something amazing inside of them. We need to show off what lies inside of us to become the great person we all can be. So take that one opportunity of life that you’ve been given and live it. Don’t concern yourself with the problems of others. Be unique. Be you. Do all things with a positive outlook on life. Wake up in the morning and decide you are happy. It’s as simple as that. The future is what we make it. It’s up to us. It’s up to what lies inside of us. Remember, “It’s not an ending; it’s a fresh start” (Mad Men, 2008).